Student posts – Page 8 – UAS MAT Program ~ 2016 Cohort

Parker Palmer is not the same as Peter Parker

As good teachers weave the fabric that joins them with students and subjects, the heart is the loom on which the threads are tied, the tension is held, the shuttle flies, and the fabric is stretched tight. Small wonder, then, that teaching tugs at the heart, opens the heart, even breaks the heart – and the more one loves teaching, the more heartbreaking it can be. The courage to teach is the courage to keep one’s heart open in those very moments when the heart is asked to hold more than it is able so that teacher and students and subject can be woven into the fabric of community (kula) that learning, and living, require.”

~ Parker J. Palmer

What does this passage mean to you as a student? In your experience as a middle school or high school student was there a teacher who enacted this kind of compassionate teaching? Was there a teacher who you connected with in this way? Tell a story that reflects your beliefs about this passage.

To me, this seems like the love that a teacher shares for their subject and their students are both great forces that connect with the teacher; that a teacher has to know their subject and their students in order to create such strong connections.

There were a couple of teachers in middle school who displayed this kind of mentality towards subject and students. My science teacher, Mr. Jones, my math teacher, Ms. Johns, and my English teacher, Ms. Brooks, all shared this intense love for their subject and a desire to engage their students fully and care about if their students learned anything or not. The three of these teachers really pushed me ahead when I tried to take the easy route.

To elaborate, Ms. Brooks had us write constantly; for every hour of class, we wrote for half of that hour. When she had us write poetry, I quickly sketched together an acrostic poem and handed it to her. She saw that I obviously spent a whole five minutes on it and told me that I was capable of something a bit more challenging. She was right, and I put in some real effort into that poem (though I now forget what it was even about or what it sounded like).

I hope to push students to exceed their expectations for themselves and to push them to not take the easy way out.

Photo Credit

Parker Palmer Post – Being Brave

I know we decided as a class that we would try to apologize less, especially when it comes to emotional outbursts, so I’ll just say a big thank you to everyone for being so great today when I burst into tears. We’ve really created a safe space and I’m very proud to be a part of it, and look forward to creating a similar space in my classroom.

I’m still not sure exactly what tipped me over the edge, except that I had a similar response while working my way through Mindset, and I think it ties into what this post should be about.

I’m slowly starting to realize that I have/had a very fixed mindset about some parts of my own intelligence that are just…not true. I have a very clear memory of telling a friend in college, “I’m not smart,” and when she protested, insisted, “No, I’m not. I’m not dumb, but I’m not smart.”

I don’t think any one person ever told me that. It was something I internalized without even realizing it. I was almost effortlessly good at English, and stuggled at Science and Math–something I’m only now realizing in the course of these classes was because I’m a very visual/story-based learner and other subjects, especially math, were never presented to me in a way that was accessable.

When taking the praxis tests for this program I didn’t study for Reading or Writing, but I took the whole week to study for the Math portion–I bought the study guide, I signed up for Khan Academy, I grilled myself ceaselessly, filled up page after page with equations–because I knew I was bad at math. It was not only probable I was going to fail but dangerously likely. Even though! The last math class I had taken–a college course in Statistics aka story-based math–I had ACED. I remember the professor handing back a test and me stopping her to ask, “Is this a real number?” because surely the 100 at the top of the page was 100 out of 150, or even 200 points, not really 100%. (It was.)

I got a 195 out of 200 on the math praxis. And still I told myself it was a fluke–a little bit of studying but mostly sheer dumb luck. But where was that Statistics Prof to remind me that the probability of scoring so high at random is astronomically small?

So I’m realizing…really belatedly…that I’ve had a lot of teachers who never tried to reach me, or learners like me, and it hurts. But I’m ALSO realizing that I have a duty to not let the same happen to my future students who struggle with English, and find Math or Science a breeze. “The courage to teach is the courage to keep one’s heart open in those very moments when the heart is asked to hold more than it is able,” as Parker Palmer says. I need to be the compassionate teacher I didn’t have as often as I should have when I was in school. I just need to be brave.

Mirror to the Soul

“Viewed from this angle, teaching holds a mirror to the soul. If I am willing to look in that mirror, and not run from what I see, I have a chance to gain self-knowledge–and knowing myself is as crucial to good teaching as knowing my students and my subject.”

When I was in school, I had a variety of great teachers. Granted, I had some bad ones, but most of them were good. They made an effort to always make students try to learn the material that was being taught, instead of just reciting the information (unlike the Ferris Bueller clip we saw in class today). Since I shared with the class my story on Coach Garrison, I will share a new teacher. She had a big impact on my life as well. Mrs. Brooks was my English teacher all throughout high school. She was a kind woman that always wanted to make the information that we would be reading or studying more interesting. She read to the class when she could or she would have the class reenact scenes from a book or play. She really put all her energy into whatever topic it was that she was teaching. She made herself available all the time, during lunch, after school, on weekends if we needed it; all we had to do was send her an email.

After I graduated high school, I told her that I was headed to college and she was thrilled. Not too many people from my graduating class had made it to college or trade school, so she was genuinely thrilled. When I told her that I was going to school to be an English teacher and that I was worried that I hadn’t varied my background much more than the novels we were required to read, she told me to follow my passion for knowledge and teaching and it will lead me to new information. That is something that I really took out from this reading. The want to look inside myself first for the drive to learn and teach can be powerful. Its that drive to never quit learning that can make a great teacher.

Image by Tom Hussey in a portrait series titled Reflections: A Portrait Series Looking at our Youth @ www.tomhussey.com

The Heart of a Teacher

This reading not only made me feel a certain way towards my teachers of old, but also who I want to be when I am a teacher. The very beginning of this article caused me to examine my past educational background in tutoring, student teaching, and substitute teaching and realize that the author could not have been more right. There were moments where I was excited, and the class was engaging in topics and debates that felt like they could have gone on for hours. I have also been in rooms where the bell cannot ring fast enough, and as the students leave the room you stop and try to think if teaching is really for you. For all of the moments where you cannot explain to a struggling student enough what a certain concept is; there are moments where you can see the light in a students eyes, as they finally for the first time grasp a lesson, and an idea. That, I believe is what makes teaching worth it.

I really enjoyed Parker J. Palmer examined how teachers pour their heart and soul into their class, and put themselves out there for the benefit of the students. I will agree it can be incredibly frightening, and that is something that I believe all teachers deal with. What if I am boring, what if my students cannot relate, or what if I am making the work too hard/easy for them? These are a few of what I assume is an endless list that many teachers must continue to overcome. This also ties in with what I think PJP stated when he said that we must satisfy the teacher in us, before we can teach the teacher in our students. We must not be afraid, but confident individuals in who we are, and who we are teaching.

When I worked for the education department at Zoo New England, the greatest advice that I could have gotten from my boss was when he told me that, “You need to command a room. Walk in, let everyone know you are there, and even if it is just for the 50 minute class, that type A personality, and your natural self will flow within that”. I had struggled at first with just walking into a room and commanding attention, but after I stopped thinking and just went for it, my whole outlook and teaching style changed. When JPJ mentioned the teacher, Alan, I felt a small connection with him, because he was able to hone in on his craft, and that is something I have tried to work on continuously whether it be as a student teacher, or a glacier guide. As long as I keep my heart, and my love for teaching, I will be ok and I will be able to explore the wild terrain that is teaching with my class. I am no longer afraid, just as JPJ talked about at the end of his essay with younger faculty, because I know that this fear of failing my students, will make me work harder so I can, at least for 50 minutes each class be that type A personality, on this great journey called teaching.

Parker Palmer Reflection

“As good teachers weave the fabric that joins them with students and subjects, the heart is the loom on which the threads are tied, the tension is held, the shuttle flies, and the fabric is stretched tight. Small wonder, then, that teaching tugs at the heart, opens the heart, even breaks the heart – and the more one loves teaching, the more heartbreaking it can be. The courage to teach is the courage to keep one’s heart open in those very moments when the heart is asked to hold more than it is able so that teacher and students and subject can be woven into the fabric of community (kula) that learning, and living, require.”
-Parker J. Palmer

The initial thought in reading Palmer’s description of the “courage to teach,” is that I wish all teachers would engage students in a way that develops community and fosters connections between student and subjects. Too often in my experiences have I encountered teachers who perceive students as being items on an assembly line to be processed through a mechanized system of learning. I still have hope, however, because through the warpath that was my experience in the American education system (especially as a migrant), I have had the blessing of being taught by individuals who have truly shared pieces of their hearts with me.

If there was one strength of mine that transcends cultures, it was my artistic abilities. My parents always cultivated a passion for the arts and creative output, which in some ways seems to be more encouraged in the U.S. as opposed to in Korea. A teacher who could fuel me to approach projects through my artistic strengths, were the ones who saw and touched beyond my identity as a student. One teacher that comes to mind specifically, was my high school art teacher, Ms. Crist.

Ms. Crist was not necessarily a stereotypical “mother-figure” of a teacher, but through her passions in teaching art and the breadth of expressions, Ms. Crist showed that she truly cared about her students. Ms. Crist knew me from my introductory class taken as a freshman, to my senior year, at which point I was developing an art portfolio at the collegiate level. All throughout my time spent in her classes, Ms. Crist would probe past the surface-level of my abilities, tearing down the walls of procrastination, laziness, substance-less thoughts, which I would often hide behind. In her role as a teacher, Ms. Crist did not need to push beyond me simply completing my projects, but she critiqued, challenged, and craved me to strive for high expectations and high hopes…not for her, but for myself. Senior year when I came back to school after my father’s funeral in Korea, Ms. Crist looked at me and asked me if I was ok. I nodded and told her yes. “Good, then let’s get back to work.” Ms. Crist knew that I did not need a lengthy conversation on how I was processing my circumstances and that instead, I needed to begin channeling my emotions into art. Ms. Crist taught me how I can take my feelings and express them on canvas or clay, with powerful execution. In some ways, Ms. Crist showed me that in life, healing is a work-in-progress.

When I think about some of the students whom I met at Yaakoosge Daakahidi, I think about how important it was for the students to learn how to use education as a tool for processing life. At times the impact of the stories that my students shared with me felt unbearable, and I would often leave the school unable to focus on anything else but my shoelaces. In a week, a month, or a semester’s worth time, however, I would see the poems, the essays, the history projects, that students have used as a vessel for sharing their experiences, and my heart would become filled with joy and love. I think that for this upcoming year as a student teacher, I want to make sure that I do not lose the courage that Palmer describes, because when it comes down to it, I am not teaching for myself…I am teaching for my students, and my students deserve nothing less than the best of myself, and the strength that I may have for them.

Image Source:
https://c1.staticflickr.com/3/2477/3890681138_06ff467431_b.jpg

The Heart is the Loom

Threads are Tied

When I think of teachers who have strongly effected me, I get to think back to many of my various music teachers. There is something about the expressive nature of music that naturally brings mentor-ship into the classroom. It is a hard subject to quantify academically – in my opinion, it is harder to judge skill than in other arts because individuals rarely perform on their own.

If there’s one thing I remember about my favorite musicians to learn from, its that they ask the best questions – big questions. These are the kind of questions that get you thinking about the nature of music, the role of the musician, and who you are – and who your family is.

I had the privilege of having the same band director in middle school and high school. We developed a strong relationship because of it – we regularly saw each other during, through, and after school. He was a motivator – he often asked me questions that got me to try harder. “Why aren’t you trying out for Section Leader?” or “Why Aren’t you applying to college?”. I’ll admit it – I was rather disenfranchised with school by the time I was in 11th and 12th grade. I wanted to move on, and I was pushing away from things like marching band and wanting to go to college for music. His questions stuck with me after I graduated high school – why wasn’t I doing more?

Little did I know that question the irked me, and challenged the low-hanging-fruit-picker I had chosen to be, would motivate me to do more. I applied to university, and went into music. It wasn’t easy, but along the way I started meeting musicians and artists that had more questions for me. What is the right note? What did Shostakovich’s work mean? What is silence? What is music?

Somehow, nearly a decade later, those caring, motivating, and self-challenging questions have led me to a career I never expected.

680 Final Reflection

How does understanding culture and power impact your teaching?

Understanding culture and power impacts my teaching greatly because the classroom is a battleground where unjust power structures fight to maintain their dominance, and cultural understanding is the key to inclusivity in education. Understanding that a dominant monoculture controls everything from what information is taught in school à to how students are expected to learn and behave in the classroom à to how students are expected to interact and behave in the social world à to how students are expected and influenced to view themselves and the world around them à spurs me as an educator to question our current education system and challenge the injustices I see being inflicted and perpetuated. Unjust power structures in education and society prevent students from achieving their full potential, from feeling valued, from being respected and honored as human beings. From understanding that power and oppression go hand in hand, I know that I want to strive to take the power out of the hands of the oppressors and help students to grasp empowerment that lies in their hands. Some of the ways I can strive to dismantle these oppressive power structures are through: creating inclusivity, practicing and teaching critical thinking, using culturally-responsive teaching, encouraging teamwork, fostering multiculturalism, and embracing diversity. As Ernestine Hayes said, “If you are not combating colonialism, you are contributing to it.” I strongly believe her words, and I feel that we must think and act radically, critically, and actively as educators in order to push education toward progress and multiculturalism. I can start in my own classroom by honoring the diverse backgrounds and experiences of my students and by including local cultural knowledge in my lessons in an active effort to move away from the Euro-centric, monocultural education model. As a music teacher, I will start by challenging the Euro-centric notions of the hierarchical orchestra and the western music notation system.

The three words I chose from the word wall are: 1) uncomfortable, 2) self-reflection, and 3) tolerance vs. transformation. I chose these words because of their significance as steps on a path toward positive change in education. Uncomfortable means “feeling slight pain or physical discomfort” or “causing or feeling unease or awkwardness.” Self-reflection means “meditation or serious thought about one’s character, actions, and motives.” Tolerance means “the ability or willingness to tolerate something, in particular the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with.” Transformation, however, means “a thorough or dramatic change in form or appearance.” Change starts with being uncomfortable. We must be uncomfortable with our privilege and address it before we can look outward and make change. We must be uncomfortable with our situations before we can question them and make change. We must be uncomfortable with the status quo and the power structures in place before we can challenge them and make change. Being uncomfortable is one small step toward transformation. Practicing and teaching self-reflection is key to our ability to analyze ourselves, our feelings, and our motives. When we can reflect as teachers, we can make sure that we approach all teaching situations with sensitivity, respect, perspective, and reduced personal bias. When we teach our students self-reflection, we can help them to be better citizens and more thoughtful and sensitive peers to their classmates. Change starts from within, whether you are the teacher or the student. Once we look within, we can look outside of ourselves at the larger situation. Tolerance is the first step toward embracing and honoring diversity, but it is not enough. Tolerance does not imply enough growth. Transformation takes change to the next level.

I plan to teach in a culturally responsive way by incorporating traditional Tlingit music into my music lessons. I will be teaching strings and general music both in the traditional music classroom and for the El Sistema-inspired string program, JAMM. I hope to invite Elders into the classroom to teach traditional songs and prepare my students for performance. I also intend to incorporate more learning through oral tradition in addition to reading music with western notation. I will help students to put knowledge in their own hands through self-guided learning, project-based learning, peer mentorship, and team activities. I aim to use place-based learning as a way for music students to get in touch with the musical landscape of their local environment. One way I can incorporate place-based learning is by having students engage their local community to share and teach a diverse repertoire of local music. Another way I can incorporate place-based learning is by having students listen deeply to the sounds of their natural landscape and then use those environmental sounds as inspiration for their own compositions. One way I want to make strings class more culturally responsive is by turning the role of the orchestra on its head. Traditionally, the orchestra has been a place of hierarchy, inequality, and deeply entrenched power structures. I aim to use the El Sistema model to reinvent the orchestra as a tool for team building, cooperation, and collaboration, and as an expression of respect, unity, and diversity. We can be inclusive in the orchestra to include players of all backgrounds and experiences and to present music from a wealth of diverse places, not just the western world!